Potty learning, in my experience and understanding, is a process that empowers the child. It's about supporting them to understand their bodily needs and respond accordingly, fostering a sense of achievement that comes from within…

In the festive buzz of Christmas traditions, I find myself entangled in an unexpected dilemma – shoud the Elf on the Shelf grace our home and become part of our evolving Christmas traditions? As a clinical psychologist and advocate for responsive, gentle, and attachment-focused parenting, this decision has unexpectedly become a complex journey. To be honest, the Elf on the Shelf didn’t register on my parenting radar until a few weeks ago. The whimsical dolls, supposedly Santa’s eyes and ears, seem harmless but carry a not-so-jolly message – behave, or face the risk of no presents on Christmas morning.

Parenting is a journey of constant adaptation. Just when you think you’ve got a hang of things, a curveball can come your way. And this is especially true when it comes to sleep. Just when you think you’ve got a handle on your child’s sleep routine, something shifts. I recently faced one of these curveballs with my 23-month-old. She had been an excellent napper for months, but all of a sudden one afternoon she became when I lay her down in her cot. My attempts to comfort and soothe her had only a short-term effect and she screamed and cried every time I tried to leave the room. After multiple attempts, naptime that day was cancelled and I took her downstairs with me so that I could tend to her 3-month-old baby sister. And of course this had the knock-on effect of a very tired little girl by the time bedtime rolled around…

In a world awash with relentless streams of heartbreaking news, my silence on social media has been a conscious choice, not a lack of care or compassion. The unfolding events are unfathomable, and I find myself at a loss for words to describe the depth of their impact. The emotions they evoke are as tumultuous as the events themselves. Amid this turmoil, I am also keenly aware of the media's powerful influence on our lives and, more importantly, on our children's well-being. In an age where information flows ceaselessly, our children are exposed to a deluge of distressing events through the media. From natural disasters to acts of violence, they witness these events through news reports, social media, and sometimes even through fictionalised portrayals in movies and TV shows.

My initial reaction was frustration. Those precious few minutes in the bathroom were a rare oasis of self-care. With a newborn just two weeks old, the challenge of carving out time for myself was mounting. Before her arrival, evenings had offered some respite, but now they were consumed by night feedings and nappy changes. These bathroom escapes, although not quite luxurious, sometimes felt like a lifeline. In that moment of frustration, I was caught up in feeling like I couldn't meet even my basic needs and I was overwhelmed by being needed so very much after a long night of cluster feeding my youngest. The "mammy....maaaammmyyy" through the tears was like sensory overload. I thought, "Give me a break!" and "Can I please just pee in peace?" - we've all been there right?. And just as the next thought came to mind, I heard my husband say it aloud from the room next door - "She's fine. She's crying over nothing". Of course my husband's well-intentioned words were an attempt to reassure me that he had it all in hand, but hearing them aloud made me pause for a moment. They brought up something deep-rooted for me.